Coming Out

In honor of National Coming Out Day, I would like to share with you my coming out story.

Growing up, I was different from most girls. I spent my days rolling around in the dirt with my brothers. I would much rather have had little boys' pants, and asked for skateboards and toy guns for my birthdays. I had friends who were girls, but never really could connect with them in similar interests. I found myself being the target of slumber party makeovers. As I grew older, I felt as if I needed to conform to those girls to fit in.

I grew up in a very small town in Minnesota. The population was 175 and there were 3 churches surrounding my house. My family actively attended a small Reformed Church with fewer than 100 members. Religion was the foundation of our family and the community I grew up in. Unfortunately, this religion wasn't the open-minded kind. I found myself being preached at about the sins of this world, including homosexuality. I can remember my mother saying that she would be heart-broken and sickened if any of us kids were gay.

Fast-forward to puberty. I started questioning my relationship with a really close best friend of mine. I felt like I liked her as more than a friend and I knew it was wrong. I tried praying every night that it would go away and I could just be happy. All I wanted was to be happy and to make my family happy. I was at war with myself, I wanted to be normal. I remember laying in bed crying and asking God to take away the feelings.

Then, I realized I wasn't going to change. This was who I was and the key to happiness was to embrace this version of myself. I came out to one of my closest friends when I was 13. It felt like an absolute relief. I knew that I had to keep this a secret from my family though. I came out to maybe another 4 or 5 people in the next couple years after that. There was a out lesbian girl in my grade in high school and she was always harassed and bullied. Out of fear, I stayed in the closet until after graduation.

The summer after graduation was liberating for me. I knew that I was going to college in a different state in a matter of months. I decided to come out to my close group of friends one summer night. They reacted much better than I thought and that gave me the confidence to tell some of my other classmates. I was still was too scared to tell any family though. The weeks leading up to college were a battle within myself, I wanted to tell them, but I didn't want to lose their financial and emotional support during this huge transition.

When I got to college, I joined the GSA group on campus and started hearing all these powerful coming out stories. I met people who were in my exact same situation. This led to my coming out to my mom and dad on Thanksgiving evening. They were not surprised or disappointed and were actually thankful that I finally told them. Last year around this time was when I finally had to courage to tell the world a secret that I had been carrying around for nearly 10 years. I received nothing but support from everyone. There were a few church members who expressed concerns, but overall I felt welcomed. I felt like myself.

I want to tell you that you are not alone. There are tons of people who have been in your situation and overcame the obstacles to get to where they are now. I have never been happier in my entire life. I finally feel like I am myself and I have nothing to hide. Since coming out, my style has started to change as I became more comfortable with myself. I am not afraid to be myself. I love who I am and that is never going to change.

Lady Gaga once said "Be yourself, love who you are, because baby, you were born this way!"